Why Emotional Dysregulation Can Be Linked To Communication Difficulties
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Emotional dysregulation can sometimes be closely connected to communication. When a person finds it hard to understand others, express their needs, or communicate how they feel, emotions can build quickly and become overwhelming.
What is emotional dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation occurs when a person has difficulty managing strong emotions and may become distressed, anxious, or emotionally escalated by the environment around them. Everyone responds differently when experiencing intense feelings, and dysregulation can look different from person to person.
What can emotional dysregulation look like?
- Shouting
- Crying
- Running away
- Becoming emotionally shut down (e.g. freezing or zoning out)
- Seeking movement, such as throwing their body on the floor, rolling, or lying down
- Destroying objects in their environment
- Covering their ears
- Showing physical behaviour towards others
When a person is dysregulated, the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking and problem-solving is often less accessible. Their primary focus is on regaining a sense of safety and calm. No one who is emotionally dysregulated is purposefully being “bad” or “naughty”; rather, they are overwhelmed and need support to return to a regulated state.
Who can experience emotional dysregulation?
People of all ages can experience emotional dysregulation. However, it may be more common among individuals who are neurodivergent or who have diagnoses that impact behaviour and emotional regulation, such as autism , attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a history of trauma, and other mental health conditions.
Individuals with language delays or communication difficulties may also face greater challenges with emotional regulation. This can happen because they struggle to understand others, express their needs, or share their thoughts and feelings. When communication is difficult, emotions can build quickly and become overwhelming.
Supporting Emotional Regulation
The “Zones of Regulation” can help identify emotions at different levels (Kuypers, 2011). The goal for adults and carers is to help prevent a person from reaching a state of dysregulation, which is represented as the red zone.
Some individuals may seem to become dysregulated very quickly, as if they go from 0 to 100 in an instant. However, even when the change appears sudden, there are often subtle signs or behaviours that indicate a shift is starting to occur before it fully escalates. Recognising these early cues allows adults to respond proactively and support regulation before emotions reach the red zone.
- Use predictable routines: Consistency can help reduce anxiety and prevent overwhelm. A speech therapist may work with you to implement visual pictures that help with a person’s understanding of this routine.
- Offer choices and control: Giving small, manageable options helps a person feel empowered and in control.
- Prepare for transitions: Begin to mention pack up or upcoming activities 5 – 10 minutes before it is time to transition to something different. This gives the person time to process the change, and finish what they are doing. This is especially important for tasks such as getting in the car, or finishing a high reward activity such as using the ipad or TV.
- Create a calming environment: Pay attention to what things often cause stress or strong emotional responses. These could be things like loud noises, bright lights, clutter, busy environments, or even things like direct instructions. Once you have an understanding of these things, it becomes easier to decrease the likelihood of dysregulation occurring.
- Teach self-regulation tools: Encourage strategies such as deep breathing, stretching, or using fidget objects or sensory toys.
Speech pathologists can support emotional regulation by helping individuals develop communication skills and access alternative or augmentative communication where needed.
What to Do When Someone is Dysregulated
- Move and speak calmly: Ensure you use a low volume, slow rate, and calm tone of voice when speaking. If you need to move around the space, ensure you do this slowly and gently.
- Provide appropriate space or equipment: Dysregulated individuals may hit, slam doors, or seek big movements. Ensure safety and redirect unsafe behaviours—for example, offer a soft ball to throw instead of slamming a door.
- Give space if needed: When someone is dysregulated, they can feel overwhelmed by their surroundings. Limit support to one or two people at most, and allow extra personal space so they don’t feel trapped and can move freely.
- Use simple language and limit how many words are being spoken to the person: Our brains work very hard when communicating with other people, and when someone is dysregulated their understanding of what we are saying and their ability to respond is limited. Whilst they are still calming down you could be sitting near them and allow them to have some silence even if they are still shouting.
- Avoid arguing, punishing or negotiating: At this point, logic and reasoning are unlikely to help. Calming the body and keeping everyone on the environment safe should be the only focus.
- Offer comfort or co-regulation: If you know this to be a successful way to calm the person you could, squeeze their hand, or model deep breathing if they are receptive.
Importantly, emotional dysregulation is not a character flaw or a lack of effort. It is a nervous system response to feeling overwhelmed, unsafe, or misunderstood. Individuals who experience dysregulation often have many strengths, and with the right supports, environments, and communication strategies, they can learn to better understand their emotions, express themselves, and move towards regulation.
How speech therapy can support emotional regulation
Speech pathologists can support emotional regulation by helping individuals develop communication skills, understand routines and expectations, use visual supports, build social communication skills, and access alternative or augmentative communication where needed.
When people have more reliable ways to understand others and express themselves, this can reduce frustration and support participation in everyday life.
When to seek support
References
Kuypers, L. M. (2011). The zones of regulation. San Jose, CA: Think Social Publishing, Incorporated.
